Overcoming Addiction: How Our Wounds Shape Belief and Behavior
Addiction is often misunderstood as a mere behavior problem or a moral failing. But beneath the surface lies a complex tapestry of pain, broken connections, and distorted belief systems. At the heart of many addictions are unresolved attachment injuries—experiences of abuse, neglect, or abandonment—that silently script a person’s sense of self and worth. These early wounds often give rise to negative core beliefs that, over time, contribute to the development and reinforcement of addictive behaviors.
The Role of Attachment Injuries
Attachment theory tells us that we are wired for connection. From infancy, we depend on caregivers not just for physical survival but for emotional regulation, attunement, and safety. When caregivers are abusive, emotionally absent, or neglectful, children begin to internalize messages such as:
"I am unlovable."
"I don’t matter."
"I must be perfect to be accepted."
"People will always leave me."
These beliefs are not conscious decisions but are formed as a survival mechanism in an unsafe world. They become the lenses through which the person interprets relationships, worth, and identity.
Without healing, these distorted beliefs become deeply rooted, driving emotional pain and shame that persist into adulthood. Addiction often becomes the coping mechanism to numb this pain or to temporarily meet unmet needs—such as comfort, control, or escape.
The Cycle of Addiction: Insights from Out of the Shadows
In Out of the Shadows, Patrick Carnes identifies a recurring cycle that characterizes addiction. This cycle helps explain why so many people feel trapped, even when they desperately want to change:
Belief System
The cycle begins with negative core beliefs, such as “I’m worthless,” or “No one will ever love me.” These beliefs, often born from attachment wounds, distort self-image and fuel emotional pain.
Impaired Thinking
As these beliefs deepen, the individual begins to rationalize unhealthy behaviors. They may minimize the consequences or convince themselves that they have control over their addiction.
Addictive Ritual
The person begins to fantasize or plan the addictive act. This stage is fueled by a sense of anticipation and escape. Rituals can include secrecy, searching, or creating opportunities for acting out.
Acting Out
The person engages in the addictive behavior. This provides temporary relief, pleasure, or distraction from emotional pain but is inevitably followed by...
Despair
After acting out, shame and guilt return—often even more intensely. The person feels defeated and confirms their negative core beliefs: “I’m hopeless,” or “I’ll never change.” This despair feeds back into the cycle, and it begins again.
Carnes’ model reveals addiction as a self-perpetuating loop driven by shame and unmet relational needs—needs often rooted in early relational trauma.
Neuroscience of Addiction and Attachment
Neuroscience offers a physiological lens through which we can understand this cycle. Research shows that early trauma and attachment disruption affect the brain’s development, particularly the limbic system, which governs emotion regulation and reward processing.
The amygdala, responsible for fear and emotional memory, becomes hypervigilant in individuals with trauma.
The prefrontal cortex, which governs impulse control and decision-making, can be underdeveloped or impaired.
Dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with reward and pleasure, is often dysregulated, making individuals more susceptible to the reinforcing effects of addictive substances or behaviors.
When someone acts out in addiction, the brain releases dopamine, creating a temporary high. But over time, the brain becomes less sensitive to natural rewards and more dependent on the addictive behavior to feel any sense of relief. This hijacking of the brain further entraps the individual in the cycle.
A Christian Perspective: Healing Through Connection
From a Christian worldview, addiction is not just a behavioral issue—it is a relational and spiritual wound. At its core, addiction is a misdirected attempt to meet legitimate God-given needs through illegitimate means.
Scripture reminds us that we are created for intimacy—with God and others. When attachment injuries break that sense of safe connection, and when shame distorts identity, people often seek false idols for comfort—whether substances, sex, food, or control.
But the gospel offers both a diagnosis and a cure:
Diagnosis: We live in a fallen world, and brokenness—including trauma and addiction—is a symptom of separation from God’s design.
Cure: Through Christ, we are offered restoration—not only of our relationship with God but also of our true identity as beloved sons and daughters (Romans 8:15-16).
Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted (Isaiah 61:1) and offer freedom to those enslaved—not through willpower, but through relationship. Healing from addiction involves more than abstinence; it involves rewriting the core beliefs with God’s truth:
“I am chosen” (Ephesians 1:4).
“I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).
“I am a new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Path to Freedom: A Holistic Approach
Healing from addiction requires a multi-faceted approach that honors the complexity of the human experience:
Therapeutic healing: Addressing trauma and core beliefs through counseling and inner healing work.
If you are interested in holistic transformation, click this link.Neurobiological recovery: Creating new neural pathways through sober living, mindfulness, and brain-based therapies.
Spiritual restoration: Rediscovering identity and purpose in Christ, renewing the mind with God’s Word (Romans 12:2).
Community: Rebuilding secure attachment through healthy relationships and support systems.
Conclusion
Addiction is not about weakness or lack of faith; it is often a wound crying out for healing. When we understand the roots of addiction in attachment injuries and trauma, we can move away from judgment and toward compassion. As believers, we are invited to become vessels of that healing—offering hope, truth, and connection to those who feel trapped in shame.
In God’s economy, no wound is wasted, and no story is too broken to be redeemed. Healing is possible, not just from the symptoms of addiction but from the lies that fuel it. In Christ, freedom isn’t a far-off dream—it’s a daily invitation to step out of the shadows and into the light of grace.
Resources*
Carnes, Patrick. Out of The Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. Hazelden Publishing: 2001.
Image and some text generated with the assistance of AI technology.
Written by Dr. James E. Francis Jr.
Dr. Francis is the founder of Intentional Bridges, a mental health counseling and coaching practice that provides accountability through encouragement and empowerment that drives resilience and spiritual maturity. James helps with issues including anxiety, anger, depression, grief, infidelity, life transitions, stress, marital readiness, men’s issues, relationship issues, race-related issues, pornography addiction, PTSD, and trauma. He believes that therapy should be clinically excellent and theologically accurate. He prioritizes the integration of Scripture with elements of psychology to operate a holistic growth plan. James helps individuals identify and overcome their negative core beliefs. Then walks beside them to promote step-by-step healing from the pain of the past.
