Nathan said to David, “You are the man!”

You might be familiar with the Biblical passage in 2 Samuel 11 & 12 where David, the King of Israel (1010-970 B.C.), is confronted by a prophet for having a man killed and then stole that man’s wife. David is known throughout history as the greatest king in Israel due to his unwavering devotion to God, military success, prosperity, and uniting the northern and southern kingdoms. However, his status did not prevent him from participating in grievous behavior with perpetual consequences.

This is the first in a series of articles to define and prescribe accountability measures. This article will define personal accountability, explore eight signs why David’s lack of accountability led to his moral failure, and provide individual applications from his story.

What is personal accountability?

I define accountability as simply taking responsibility for one’s actions. This includes thoughts, words, feelings, behaviors, beliefs, and habits included. It derives from the root word accountable, paraphrased from the Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary as a requirement or expectation of a person, institution, or organization to justify their actions or decisions. [1]

What Leads To Moral Failure?

The heart behind ongoing personal sin and a lack of accountability that leads to moral failure is an unwavering allegiance and loyalty toward oneself over anyone else, including God. An honest evaluation of yourself, likely by a trusted confidant, is required to see if the following characteristics are present in your life.

A Lack of Insight

Insight is accurate perception, discernment, or sight into a matter. When we are not fully aware of the negative patterns of our behavior, consequences of our actions, or we ignore available warnings, there is a lower likelihood that accountable measures exist.

In 2 Samuel 11:1, the story reads, “In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army.” Why was David back at home instead of leading the army? I do not know. He might not have known.

What is clear is that David should have been in battle. Instead, he inquired about the woman bathing on a rooftop. The information given to him was that she was married.

Pay attention to warning signs and listen to those around you who might be seeing what you are not.

Idleness

Idleness is laziness, inactivity, or inaction that is not productive. Rest is necessary to recharge, but idleness is a lack of intentionality required for integrity.

The king might not have intended to have an interaction with Bathsheba take place. However, he left himself vulnerable by idling on his rooftop to pursue his lust rather than his integrity.

Pursue integrity even in your rest. You might need to plan your rest to eliminate idleness.

Entitlement

Thinking that something belongs to, is owed to, or is your right to use as you desire. This mindset comprises the highest degree of selfishness and builds upon smaller accumulated choices that put you first.

David used his servants and soldiers to do unimaginable harm, described in chapter 11. The king abused his power, took Bathsheeba from her home, violated her, and slept with her.

People are not to be used to enrich our gains, but we are to use our gains to enrich others.

Shame

Shame is an internalized sense of embarrassment or humiliation. Shame causes a person to want to hide and only grows in darkness or when hidden.

When David finds that Uriah’s wife is pregnant in 11:5-8. He should have repented and confessed his sin. Instead, he creates a deceitful narrative that attempted to conceal his misgivings (14-25).

The antidote to shame is transparency, active participation in the community, and living in the light.

Justification of Actions

Popular responses to confrontation include becoming defensive, rationalizing, giving excuses, or justifying actions rather than taking responsibility.

David cynically appears to offer consolation to Joab, his partner in crime, regarding a situation constructed with a lie that ended in multiple deaths. David brought Uriah’s wife into his house. She became his wife and bore a son in v 26. David continues to dig deeper into sin and displeases God as a result.

Take responsibility for whatever percentage you contributed to an issue.

Forgetfulness

Forgetfulness is the willful neglect of memory. There is a lack of proper prioritization of what is important.

The king has hardened his heart and seemingly forgets the character of the man God spared on numerous occasions. He is almost unrecognizable from his humble origins.

Do not forget who you are and have been called by God to be.

Unrealistic Expectations

There might be an expectation for an external person or institution to impose boundaries or regulations rather than an internal process that guides an individual.

David’s internal conscience remains seared throughout this process. Nevertheless, there was one person that he would listen to, the prophet Nathan. The king reflects on Nathan’s words and all God has done for him. David takes responsibility for his actions. In verse 13, he states, “I have sinned against the Lord.”

Submission to someone who can speak truth into our lives is crucial to avoiding moral failure. Equally important is internalizing the voice of that trusted individual and heeding God’s Holy Spirit in our conscience.

Reactivity

Accountability might have failed for you and many others because it generally happens AFTER a situation occurs, rather than being proactive or forethought.

David’s lack of self-awareness is evident. When the prophet Nathan shares a story with him, the king does not even recognize the subject matter is actually about himself!

Personal boundaries must be constructed before we enter compromising situations.

Conclusion

Understanding the definition of accountability as taking responsibility and realigning one’s affection and loyalty to God is the first step to avoiding moral failure. King David’s moral failure provides several warnings for a person who desires to live a life of integrity by gaining insight, eliminating idleness and entitlement, overcoming shame, taking responsibility, remembering your character, setting realistic expectations, and becoming proactive in setting boundaries.

If you are ready to take responsibility and become more accountable for your behavior, please schedule a free consultation with me.

Topics to follow this article include an in-depth look at how to take responsibility, a structured method of becoming a transparent person, and exploring shame culture and childhood experiences that lead to accountability aversion.

References

Accountable. (2024). In Merriam-Webster Dictionary. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/accountable

Accountability Defined: Eight Warning Signs of Moral Failure